And Now, a moment of silence for the baby mama drama, fiancé left me, getting paid but don’t wanna play, vain, need attention, so I attempted suicide fiasco, of a player I do NOT care to name 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Okay. Now on to more IMPORTANT sports highlights. Unfortunately I will have to tape the Dallas Cowboy (No I don’t have TIVO yet) game on Sunday against the Titans because God decided to show me that He does have a humor. I don’t get out of church until 1pm Central Standard Time. Haha Funny God. My bet however and as usual is on my Cowboys. The unnamed one will be there, but Coach Parcells doesn’t know if he’ll play. *mumbles* like we really care.
On to more sports. Even though I don’t like baseball, a lot of you complained that I didn’t give any highlights. So here’s your highlight you big baby! New York Mets pitcher Pedro Martinez is having his rotator cut off next week and won’t be able to play until next season! Next!
Golf Legend Byron Nelson was laid to rest this past week, with over 4,000 in attendance at his funeral. Here’s lookin’ at your Byron!
Someone tell me who in their right mind would even think about fighting Mike Tyson again? Not because they think they will lose but because they don’t want to lose any body parts. Mike thinks he’s Mariah Carey or somebody talking about a Mike Tyson World Tour. Umm Mike admit it. You’re broke, I heard Burger King was hiring.
Now I don’t like the Eagles much at all, but I must say, I have enjoyed watching their last two games and I am anticipating watching their next game on Monday night against Green Bay. And then… aha at last revenge is sweet. Some say that the reason the “unnamed one” Punked out with a capital P is because he is dreading the game NEXT week against the Eagles. I want to be a fly on the wall, a turd on the field, a follicle on a seat, a piece of sweat on a helmet, a scale of toe jam on a cleat, just to see them tear the Unnamed one’s tail up. They are going to be on him like white on rice (not to be confused with Bush on Condoleezza), a catholic priest on a young boy, a hoochie to a Nelly video, Ruben Studdard to a Snickers bar, Jimmy Johnson to hairspray, Flava Flav to black ink. I cannot wait! Sunday during their bout with my Dallas Baby Daddies, Vince Young will make his debut with the Tennessee Titans. And a sistah is thinking, 0-3, Vince can only make them better. Whoah Whoah Whoah! Al Wallace of the Panthers is fined $7500 for his hit on Buccaneers’ quarterback Chris Simms last Sunday. $7500 for breaking someone’s spleen? It’s bloody murder I tell ya!
As I look around the NFL today, I’m thinking these football players are getting paid mucho Grande deniro (‘scuse my broken es spanol) and there is an over abundance of drunk driving, drug use, domestic violence, players getting shot at because they claim they were coming home from a family event in Louisiana, when they know good n darn well they pissed somebody of at a houseparty they knew that had no place being in the first place and ATTEMPTED ALLEGED suicides. What? Yall have so much money that yall just can’t handle it? Umm try working my low paying job (I thank God HSBC anyhow) and paying my mortgage, car, insurance, utilities, Jose the gardener and daily expenses and see how much pressure you’d REALLY be under. Give me a break, and oh, before I forget, Michael Irving allegedly tried to counsel the unnamed one. QQ (these are eyeballs by the way, they mean I’m looking crazy out the side of my neck) QQ Michael Irving. The Unnamed one. QQ. Drug Addict. Closet Drug Addict. QQ Man go sit yo butt down! LOL.
Philly and NY Giants are tied in the NFC East at 1-1 and the Redskins had better get it right or get the hell out. Chicago leads the NFC North at 3-0, and Ummm I won’t even mention Detroit’s stats. Now in the NFC South, the Saints are looking pretty darn good and I think after all they’ve been through, they deserve to do good this season. I said do good, not win the super bowl, because we all know the Cowboys are going to beat the Steelers in the super bowl. Well at least that’s what Dionne Warwick told me. LOL. I would rag on the Bucks but since their quarterback is hurt, I will reserve my comments. To my buddy Mike, you’re lucky; this week! In the NFC West, Seattle has the lead at 3-0. Over in the AFC East The Jets and the Patriots are tied at 2-1, in the AFC North Cincinnati leads at 3-0 and Cleveland, whatchyall doin’ ova there? In the AFC South, the Colts lead, while the rest of the teams in the South just plain ole suck. And finally in the AFC West San Diego and Denver are tied 2-0 and I know my son, who resides in Denver, is saying Go John Elway. Umm son, John Elway retired years ago!!!
My second baby daddy, twice removed Phil Jackson , coach of the L.A. Lakers, is having a hip replacement. Get better boo, Mama has the Viagra tea in the kettle! The New Jersey Nets took a chance and hired Jay Williams. If you remember, three years ago, Jay had a motorcycle accident. Toronto and Washington open the NBA preseason on October 9th. The Mavs, who I see doing great things this season, signed ex Los Angeles Laker Devon George for 4.2 million. In golf, I have four words. Byron Nelson and Tiger Woods. Next. Okay I’m now officially stepping off the sports box. Until next time, Love the Cowboys, admire the Lakers, Hate the Raiders, Despise the Eagles and in the famous words of that OTHER unnamed person who by the way, looked like she had just rolled out of bed, didn’t bathe, comb her hair, let alone brush her teeth, “The Unamed one has 25 million reason not to commit suicide.” And I think to myself “and 1 million of those reasons should have gone to you for hygiene products, a brush and some blush my sistah. LOL. Okay I’m done. In the famous words of Terry Hornbuckle, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman”. Oh wait, that was former president Bill Clinton. Mr. Hornbuckle said, “I had sexual relations with that woman but she loved every minute of it.” LOL and he’s saying right about now, as he serves a 15 year prison sentence, “No Thanks I do not need any soap Peaches
Okay. Now on to more IMPORTANT sports highlights. Unfortunately I will have to tape the Dallas Cowboy (No I don’t have TIVO yet) game on Sunday against the Titans because God decided to show me that He does have a humor. I don’t get out of church until 1pm Central Standard Time. Haha Funny God. My bet however and as usual is on my Cowboys. The unnamed one will be there, but Coach Parcells doesn’t know if he’ll play. *mumbles* like we really care.
On to more sports. Even though I don’t like baseball, a lot of you complained that I didn’t give any highlights. So here’s your highlight you big baby! New York Mets pitcher Pedro Martinez is having his rotator cut off next week and won’t be able to play until next season! Next!
Golf Legend Byron Nelson was laid to rest this past week, with over 4,000 in attendance at his funeral. Here’s lookin’ at your Byron!
Someone tell me who in their right mind would even think about fighting Mike Tyson again? Not because they think they will lose but because they don’t want to lose any body parts. Mike thinks he’s Mariah Carey or somebody talking about a Mike Tyson World Tour. Umm Mike admit it. You’re broke, I heard Burger King was hiring.
Now I don’t like the Eagles much at all, but I must say, I have enjoyed watching their last two games and I am anticipating watching their next game on Monday night against Green Bay. And then… aha at last revenge is sweet. Some say that the reason the “unnamed one” Punked out with a capital P is because he is dreading the game NEXT week against the Eagles. I want to be a fly on the wall, a turd on the field, a follicle on a seat, a piece of sweat on a helmet, a scale of toe jam on a cleat, just to see them tear the Unnamed one’s tail up. They are going to be on him like white on rice (not to be confused with Bush on Condoleezza), a catholic priest on a young boy, a hoochie to a Nelly video, Ruben Studdard to a Snickers bar, Jimmy Johnson to hairspray, Flava Flav to black ink. I cannot wait! Sunday during their bout with my Dallas Baby Daddies, Vince Young will make his debut with the Tennessee Titans. And a sistah is thinking, 0-3, Vince can only make them better. Whoah Whoah Whoah! Al Wallace of the Panthers is fined $7500 for his hit on Buccaneers’ quarterback Chris Simms last Sunday. $7500 for breaking someone’s spleen? It’s bloody murder I tell ya!
As I look around the NFL today, I’m thinking these football players are getting paid mucho Grande deniro (‘scuse my broken es spanol) and there is an over abundance of drunk driving, drug use, domestic violence, players getting shot at because they claim they were coming home from a family event in Louisiana, when they know good n darn well they pissed somebody of at a houseparty they knew that had no place being in the first place and ATTEMPTED ALLEGED suicides. What? Yall have so much money that yall just can’t handle it? Umm try working my low paying job (I thank God HSBC anyhow) and paying my mortgage, car, insurance, utilities, Jose the gardener and daily expenses and see how much pressure you’d REALLY be under. Give me a break, and oh, before I forget, Michael Irving allegedly tried to counsel the unnamed one. QQ (these are eyeballs by the way, they mean I’m looking crazy out the side of my neck) QQ Michael Irving. The Unnamed one. QQ. Drug Addict. Closet Drug Addict. QQ Man go sit yo butt down! LOL.
Philly and NY Giants are tied in the NFC East at 1-1 and the Redskins had better get it right or get the hell out. Chicago leads the NFC North at 3-0, and Ummm I won’t even mention Detroit’s stats. Now in the NFC South, the Saints are looking pretty darn good and I think after all they’ve been through, they deserve to do good this season. I said do good, not win the super bowl, because we all know the Cowboys are going to beat the Steelers in the super bowl. Well at least that’s what Dionne Warwick told me. LOL. I would rag on the Bucks but since their quarterback is hurt, I will reserve my comments. To my buddy Mike, you’re lucky; this week! In the NFC West, Seattle has the lead at 3-0. Over in the AFC East The Jets and the Patriots are tied at 2-1, in the AFC North Cincinnati leads at 3-0 and Cleveland, whatchyall doin’ ova there? In the AFC South, the Colts lead, while the rest of the teams in the South just plain ole suck. And finally in the AFC West San Diego and Denver are tied 2-0 and I know my son, who resides in Denver, is saying Go John Elway. Umm son, John Elway retired years ago!!!
My second baby daddy, twice removed Phil Jackson , coach of the L.A. Lakers, is having a hip replacement. Get better boo, Mama has the Viagra tea in the kettle! The New Jersey Nets took a chance and hired Jay Williams. If you remember, three years ago, Jay had a motorcycle accident. Toronto and Washington open the NBA preseason on October 9th. The Mavs, who I see doing great things this season, signed ex Los Angeles Laker Devon George for 4.2 million. In golf, I have four words. Byron Nelson and Tiger Woods. Next. Okay I’m now officially stepping off the sports box. Until next time, Love the Cowboys, admire the Lakers, Hate the Raiders, Despise the Eagles and in the famous words of that OTHER unnamed person who by the way, looked like she had just rolled out of bed, didn’t bathe, comb her hair, let alone brush her teeth, “The Unamed one has 25 million reason not to commit suicide.” And I think to myself “and 1 million of those reasons should have gone to you for hygiene products, a brush and some blush my sistah. LOL. Okay I’m done. In the famous words of Terry Hornbuckle, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman”. Oh wait, that was former president Bill Clinton. Mr. Hornbuckle said, “I had sexual relations with that woman but she loved every minute of it.” LOL and he’s saying right about now, as he serves a 15 year prison sentence, “No Thanks I do not need any soap Peaches
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